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I AmI care
…but not enough
…but staunch the flow
…but dry my eyes
I soldier on
…weary from the fight
…but turn a blind eye
…but tune out with music
…but it's all just lip service
I carry on
…the burden is my own
…but bury it deep
…but I'm a shadow of nothing
…but self-deprivation is my host
I go on
…but there's no meaning left
ObjectificationIt's the last foreign location
Of myopic destination
She's in sensual suppression
From his thundering obsession
She's a rabid exploration
Of his desired exploitation
Demanding no limitation
His smile's blind determination
Ignores her bitter frustration
Of growing manifestation
On insistent coronation
Her mouth snubbing his libation
Parry... his systemization
It's a seedy incubation
Of tasteless amalgamation
Bound To YouThey say lightning never strikes the same place twice
But what do they know, what do they know
I'm wearing static in my hair
My shoes are melded to the ground
But I can still grow, I can still grow
Too many promises were lies, too many smiles just passed me by
Still I stand tall, still I stand tall
Like a golden bird I've been caged
That collar 'round my neck, a slave
But I am free now, I am free now
But what if I don't want to fly
But what if I don't care to try
I just want to live right here, trapped inside my misery
I cannot dare to dream
I cannot dare to breathe
I just want to stay here, bound by your lock and key
I don't want to want you, I don't need to need you
I want to be okay, just be okay
Seraphic mantra wards my heart
Rebuild the walls of effete steel
It's all too late now, just too late now.
How can I stand up tall when I am crumbling inside
I'm just a shattered dream
Broken pieces on the floor
And there's nowhere for me to go
No shelter from this turbid storm
If I try to
FeverIt's a decorous adoration,
A sizzling passionate brimming
Beneath my frozen façade first,
Eroding responses noncommittal.
It's a delicate carbonation,
A giddy headiness welling
Throughout my innocence well-versed,
Spilling over in rebellious giggles.
It's a delicious condensation,
A sultry sweltering drenching
Inside my wanton core to burst,
Erupting in tantalizing ripples.
It's undeniable temptation,
A fluttering feeling stemming
From my own unquenchable thirst,
Sating my neediness to be little.
Night TerrorsI danced in the dark
With a night owl's screams
And mosquito dreams,
And then when I fell
Where nobody's arms
Would latch onto me,
Down upon my knees,
I felt Moonlight's beams
Cut like diamonds.
WildfireLove is forever; on the edge of
Zodiac time I stand dull, witless
There is no wisdom in wildfire stars
That can't be told in teapot teardrops
Caught"Will you catch me?"
She, too far hooked on the dark,
Shattered stardust glittering,
Oh, her finest whiskey smile,
A tawny constellation.
"Please fall with me."
He, flaring winsome too bright,
Heaven's starlight exploding,
Oh, his sweetest brewing laugh,
"We're alone now."
They, blind persistent stumbling,
Drenched in silky oaken spice,
Oh, their spirited iced rocks,
Reaching away from cosmos.
Lost KitesLove was paper kisses;
Beneath lyrical oaks
We cut the strings
On cellophane kites.
On My KneesIt was quite comical, can't you see,
How much of your bullshit I believed,
Or really not, I played along;
I got so sick of the same damn song.
It not at all dawned like light on me -
Another might find me on my knees.
I wasn't inclined so I never saw,
Until I was; next, he came to call.
A thunderous boom and you left me;
I have had enough this time, stay free!
Lightning struck and brought my Devil Dog,
Quicksilver chemistry, no more fog.
I had forgotten how to be
Purely submissive on my knees
Head arched in laughter with a smile;
I missed this place, been quite a while.
Each day rewards, he turns a key,
Reopens doors I didn't foresee
Could be unlocked or topple walls;
Safe in my Dog's hug, I am small.
I flung that ache into the sea;
I shed last drops of misery;
At last I opened up my heart
To a Devil Dog, a fresh start.
You did me a favor, so you see,
By turning your back and leaving me,
Secret, slowly killing a whole love,
Until there's nothing more to speak of.
Friendship kindles, fo
Dark DespairDay by day it becomes worse
The hole becomes black and thick
An endless pit of despair
Nothing but lies and false hope
That feed it to grown bigger
I sit here and wonder where my life turns
I know it will be going down the hole
Swollowing me up and devouring me
Ill never see the ray of light again
Ill never see that smile in the mirror
All ill see is the poison injected into me
And watch it
Kill me slowly
Ray of Hope (Depression hurts!)
Gloomy days and shades of grey,
promises long forgotten.
Words of pain leave scars that stay,
choices were ill-begotten.
Rays of sun obscured by cloud,
I pray for a glint of light.
Stinging darts thrown by the proud,
add misery to my plight.
searching for truth
hunting for proof
praying for sun
praying for sun...
Clouds depart, a ray of hope,
softness instead of what's cruel.
Hope is renewed, helping me cope,
sun sparkling bright like a jewel.
Depression cuts like a knife,
carving up pieces of heart.
I need something more from life,
desperate to make a new start.
needing true love
like hand in glove
wanting to please
dreaming of more
windswept summer days that never end
flowers that bloom and never die
hallowed paths to tread lightly
happy smiles deep inside me
happy smiles deep inside
All You are,
all you feel.
You know everyone hates you;
so called friends talking about you.
Your a skank.
Everyone thinks that.
Just a failure,
Deserving to die.
Wanting to die.
Life is hell.
i nearly disposed of
and i still have to wake
up, caked in a layer of
unfeeling burn marks, just
to be swallowed by crowds
of ignorance again.
just because i'm not
coughing up a lung
doesn't mean i'm not
sick, and if you won't
help me slay this monster
by giving me over to a
hospital for souls, it's your
own damn fault i'm never
If OnlyIf Only
Oh, if only you knew
What lies inside.
These thoughts in my head,
These things in my heart.
I’m selfish, and ugly, and cruel.
But you don’t need to know that,
You’re too pure to taint
With my demons.
So, I lie,
I hide behind your lies,
I pretend to be what you say I am,
I lie and say I’m alright.
I hate what’s inside,
I hate what’s outside,
I just hate what I am.
Oh, if only you knew,
Then you’d hate me too.
Don't SpeakAfter so many years, she dares to speak,
Yet her mouth can't form a sound.
She tries to scream for help,
But no one is around.
Oh it has been like this for so long;
Surely she can survive just another day?
Just hush your voice and cover the bruises
Or you will certainly pay.
A silent threat is written in his eyes-
So full of anger and rage.
Yet she must wear a mask to hide the fear,
Feeling trapped, as if behind the steel bars of a cage.
And now, there are more consequences to come,
For he knows she broke his only rule-
Destroyed the silence that was his protection.
Who would have thought this game could be so cruel?
Perhaps she should have learned by now
Not to challenge the way the world is.
Now not only had her own life been ruined,
But after so many years, also his.
Loneliness ConsumesI don’t care.
They have soul mates.
So what if I’m the oldest?
So what if I’ll be alone forever?
It won’t matter.
I’m sure I can find a way to disappear.
Then I won’t need a soul mate.
Then I can leave this place behind me.
All I have to do is try until it works.
Invincibility can only go so far.
I can’t stand this.
Sitting in my room crying because I’m so lonely.
There has to be a better place for me.
I just have to ditch this one.
I used to be able to hide inside of myself.
I’ve ventured too far into the “real world”
I have to go back.
I can’t stay here.
If I can just hide inside myself again,
It won’t hurt so much.
I just don’t know how to escape.
I guess that makes me pathetic.
The loneliness eats away at me
No matter what I do.
Take Your LeavePlunge through the memories
With eyes sewn shut
The bitter slumber takes it hold
As your name
At the back of my mind
Silent subconscious screams
This bed has become a cliff
I cannot escape
On the aerie of your nightmare
As I’m picked bit by bit
Slowly but surely
Placating your crave
Love always leaves a mark
Yours the deepest of all
Made sure of that
As your fingernails dance inside my skin
Splitting these ears in two
Go back to this
Even if the ground pulls
From under my slipping feet
Not another sound
The crow’s nest of your words
Harvesting nothing but death
As your lies
And everything you stand for
Cascade down your mouth
In a molten drip
This is it
The door’s blown open
The winds of my defiance ready
To take your leave
And wipe your face clean from my heart
2014 Vincent Cuccolo
ConfessionIt's my indiscretion…
Blooming clinical depression
On an empty concession.
Don't mind my digression…
As I study my transgression,
Led to a misimpression.
Despite my aggression…
You have made quite an impression
To engage a closed session.
I have a confession…
I'm consumed by your obsession;
I yearn for your possession.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More